Thursday 3 May 2012 by Gary Stanton

News International journalists could face bum-wape in pwison, warns FA


The same journalists who mocked England manager Roy Hodgson for his speech impediment were weminded today that many of them face pwosecution and a vawiety of pwison scenawios, many of which include bum-wape.

Wape is unfortunately vewy common in pwison and has been depicted in many films such as the Shawshank Wedemption and Amewican History X – a particularly wough one fwom behind that didn’t weally need a weason, as if one needs to wam the point home.

With Webekah Bwooks and Wupert Murdoch still the subjects of an ongoing cwiminal investigation, journalists thwoughout the corporwation were informed today that many pwisoners are eagerly awaiting their awwival and had alweady begun to gwease down their wadiators in pwepawation.

Conditions inside Bwitish pwisons can be especially bleak with two of thwee sex-starved inmates often sharewing the same cell.

Wape is Sewious

Weginald Wiley, a extraordinawily well-hung multiple killer who suffers from the same speech impediment as Roy Hodgson said “The twouble with Newth Internathional dishing it out like thith isth that nobody has weally forgiven them for being fuckerth.”

“And I hate it when people mock my impediment, though I’ve learnt to channel my agwethion thwough wandom acts of
welentleth anuth-based thexual violenth.”

“James Murdoch isth welcome to take a shower with me anytime, just tho long as he wememberth to bwing his own bar of thoap.”

Although Roy Hodgson today laughed off his treatment at the hands of the press, he sounded a note of his concern for his tormentors.

“When the scwews turn their backs, as they are likely to do when watching he Euwos, it could be vewy much a case of bwing on the wapists.”

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