Fictional global terrorist group SPECTRE have leaked a report insisting that Rupert Murdoch is exactly the sort of man they need to finally help them overcome James Bond.
The head of the supervillain syndicate has long been kept a sectret, but insiders have leaked a report in which Murdoch’s qualities are lauded across several pages.
As one section read, “Mr Murdoch clearly demonstrates the disdain for authority which is seen as a pre-requisite for SPECTRE.”
“Clearly he has no time for anyone in the world’s governing bodies, or their law enforcements arms. Unless they’re helping him.”
“He has close connections at the very highest levels, and the limitless resources needed to build a moon-base from which to launch our next attack.”
“Plus with his media connections he could probably help us quite a bit on the PR front.”
Murdoch ‘a fit boss’
The leaked report comes hours after the UK government found Murdoch not to be a ‘fit and proper person’ to run a major multinational company.
“This only makes him more perfect for us,” confirmed a SPECTRE insider.
“Having been shunned by mainstream society, he will be keener than ever to exact a revenge so outrageous we’ll all be wishing we’d left the News Of The World well alone.”
“He’s got a final interview on Thursday, and we’ll hopefully be announcing his appointment before the weekend.”