Friday 13 April 2012

Damien Comolli appointed Director of Talent Acquisition for travelling circus


damien commoli

After his sacking by Liverpool, former Director of Football Damien Comolli has landed on his feet with a new role as the Head of Talent Acquisition for Bozo’s Travelling Circus.

A spokesperson for the circus – the renowned for some of the world’s biggest clowns – said they were delighted that Comolli had agreed to join them.

“Spotting a clown takes experience, talent, and the ability to seperate the wheat from the chaff.”

“And if we have learned nothing else from his time at Liverpool, it’s that Damien knows how to spot a clown.”

“Of course, ‘Damien’ or ‘Mr Comolli’ is a little formal in our line of work, so he’s been renamed Fundango Soggybottom.”

Comolli’s new role

Critics have said that Comolli’s more analytical approach to talent selection is simply not suited to the circus world.

Clown analyst Simon Williams told us, “Sure, he might tell you which up and coming clown gets the most laughs per tumble, but you never know how they’ll perform when surrounded by other clowns on a bigger stage.”

“Sometimes the best way to pick real talent isn’t on a spreadsheet.”

“But I guess we’ll see. I hear he’s already earmarked £20m for a ‘Dowser’ a clown from Birmingham with 74% accuracy from his squirty flower.”

“It sounds like a lot, but he seems pretty confident he’ll prove to be worth it.”

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