Wednesday 11 April 2012

Facebook’s Instagram purchase to help convince morons they are actually ‘artists’


Facebook buys Instagram

Facebook’s $1bn acquisition of photo application Instagram will lead to your news feed being stuffed full of sepia-toned photographs of tedious everyday objects, experts confirmed this morning.

The purchase of the popular photo capture application surprised many technology analysts, most of whom felt that the one thing Facebook absolutely did not need was a further excuse for their users to post garbage of no interest to anyone whatsoever.

Analyst Simon Williams told us, “The great value of Instagram is in its ability to transform the self-perception of its users from barely-literate technophobic button pressers, to photographic artists intent on capturing the very souls of their subjects.”

“It’s capable of inducing previously unseen of levels of user-delusion.”

“It makes users feel that adding a sepia filter to a photo of a shoe transforms it into a nostalgic glance at a bygone era when life was so much more simple. Even though it’s still definitely just a photo of a shoe.”

Instagram purchase

Developers of new application ‘Unstagram’ insist their new tool, which removes sepia filters from online photographs, will be bring reality back to the world of social media photography.

Developer Mike Jones told us, “Poorly framed uninteresting photos will be returned to their natural state, and morons will be shaken from their delusions to realise they are still morons who can’t take photographs.”

Analyst Williams concluded, “I think the big lesson for everyone here is that if you can invent something that makes gullible idiots feel like they have even a modicum of talent, then you can make a billion dollars very easily indeed.”

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