Wednesday 11 April 2012 by Waylandsmithy

BBC Breakfast presenters ‘sat in tin bath and drank from hosepipes’


The BBC has apologised to viewers in the South of England, after presenter Bill Turnbull gave a ‘brazenly Northern’ performance from their new facilities in Salford.

Sat outside in tin baths still brimming with coal and swigging brackish water from hosepipes, Turnbull and co-host Susanna Reid sneered at a sculptor, told Brian Sewell to ‘fuck off’ and then gawped at a man wearing matching shoes.

With ‘BBC Breakast’ being broadcast from Manchester for the first time, the episode did nothing to calm fears that the programme might accidentally cover TV programmes that aren’t made in London.

“BBC Breakfast is an important programme for plugging other BBC programmes that Londoners might enjoy being sniffy about”, claimed Director General Mark Thompson.

“But now this ‘news’ programme has become news itself, we’re going to need another news channel.”

BBC Breakfast moves to Manchester

As News 24 reported on reactions to another city being discovered capable of supporting a cameraman and a sound engineer, BBC Breakfast interviewed a journalist from the Cheshire Chronicle and asked what they thought about ‘that there fancy London news’.

Radio 5 held a phone-in to discuss the provocative use of a hose-pipe, raising fears that ‘copycat’ presenting in drought areas could lead to arrests.

The issue will be debated on Newsnight, after a special investigation into viewing figures for ‘The Voice’.

“Eee, ‘appen it were a triumph”, claimed Turnbull, as he drank a warm mug of gravy.

“Turns out you can talk about the BBC and pretend it’s news from just about anywhere.”

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