Tuesday 3 April 2012

Samantha Brick urged to buy at least one mirror


So-called ‘journalist’ Samantha Brick has been urged to invest in some form of reflective device for the home after falling under the misapprehension that people don’t like her because she’s too pretty.

Brick wrote a compelling tale of life’s struggles from the point of a beautiful person, even though her apparent experience of such an existence is about as extensive as that of your average back-street carnival attraction.

“People just don’t seem to like me,” she wrote in the Daily Mail.

“I can only think it’s because I’m too good looking, what with me being beautiful and everything. Don’t you think I’m beautiful. I’m gorgeous aren’t I?” she continued, for approximately 1500 words.

“Here are a few dozen photos of me looking ridiculously good looking,” she concluded, apparently unaware that the photos contained thoroughly accurate pictures of her.

Samantha Brick

People with vision above the level of a garden Mole have reacted with surprise at Brick’s claims, insisting doctors check her for some sort of head trauma.

Average-looking Simon Williams told us, “One can only surmise that she’s suffered some sort of catastrophic cranial injury, or what she thinks is a mirror is actually a life-sized poster of Jennifer Aniston.”

We asked those in her social circle what they thought of Brick’s claims, only to be told that her looks were of little importance to the people who actually know her.

As one acquaintance explained, “She couldn’t be more wrong. How she looks is completely irrelevant to me and everyone who has met her.”

“We don’t like her because she’s a deluded self-promoting narcissist who writes for the Daily Mail.”

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