Friday 30 March 2012 by Waylandsmithy

Bradford rejects mainstream politics by electing career politician with murky past


George Galloway winds Bradford by election

Cat impressionist George Galloway has landed on his feet again, after some how convincing the Bradford West by-election voters that he is ‘different’.

“This represents a rejection of the established politics”, claimed the established politician. “Though I must admit I thought it would be harder to get my old job back in a recession.”

“The people of Bradford have spoken”, declared Galloway, while rubbing one ear with his wrist.

“8 out of 10 homeowners said their MP’s a cat pervert.”

Galloway took the decision to stand in Bradford after realising there was enough room to swing a coup, if he pretended that he cared about the city, and could find it on a map.

Hailing his victory as ‘the single greatest moment in the universe, in the past, the present and the future’, Galloway humbly accepted the ceremonial expenses form and keys to a second home.

“This one’s for Iraq!”, he cried, while ordering a new carpet. “Can someone ask my agent to phone Endemol?”

Galloway Bradford victory

Galloway accused the three main parties of ‘living in a fantasy world’, then stuck one leg out and started licking his bottom.

While Labour and the Conservative party knew they didn’t have a cat’s chance in hell, they will still take umbrage at losing to such a flea-bitten old mouser.

“We will learn from this humbling experience”, claimed Cameron, as he set down a bowl of anti-freeze by the town hall.

“By rejecting us in this way, we know exactly where we stand with these people”, he went on.

“That’s why I’m unveiling the new combined Bradford incinerator, nuclear power plant and meat rendering factory.”

“There’s more than one way to skin a cat.”

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