Friday 16 March 2012 by Waylandsmithy

Miliband named ‘worst animated character’


Ed Miliband has finally reached the top of a poll, after being named the UK’s ‘worst animated character’ of all time.

Accepting the award with his face not quite working, Miliband mouthed something that drew unwanted attention to his poorly drawn lips and unrealistic eyes.

“Thankyew, greet britarn”, he had a fairly good go at.

“I was sure my brother would win, until I accidentally scribbled all over him.”

He then dismounted the stage like a wobbly sea-horse, and attempted to grin as he was put back in his box.

With his strings obviously tangled and tied up in knots, some puppeteers booed him for bringing disgrace to their trade.

“Whoever was operating him forgot to make him blink”, claimed a Master of Puppets. “and it would have helped if he’d been facing the right way.”

Miliband animation

But fans of animation praised the work of those that had coloured him in, even though they’d used crayons and then smudged him a bit with their elbows.

“There’s something quite charming about his childish portrayal of a grown-up”, declared one judge, with pen all over their hands.

It’s amazing how he looks so two-dimensional, when set against an all-too realistic background.”

To celebrate Miliband’s success, The Beano offered him his own strip.

“Kids love repetitive stories about characters who do exactly what you’d expect over and over again”, explained the editor.

“We were going to show him saying ‘no’, in every single one of his speech bubbles.” Miliband refused to be drawn on the issue.

Ladbrokes are offering odds of 5-4 on Paddington Bear replacing Ed Miliband as mascot of the Labour Party, after he agreed to join the union for Rail Workers Who Eat Marmalade Sandwiches Whilst Not Wearing Trousers.

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