Friday 10 February 2012 by Waylandsmithy

Commissioner Prescott ‘would more sophisticize policers’


John Prescott threw himself in the ring today, hat-wise, for the Humberside policers boss commissioner. “In a very real sense”, revealed the man, who’s perfect forrit.

“I done a brilliant in the past and I’m a crimeways knower, absolutely”, said Prescott Lordly but all Working Class.

“And you can bet your coat on it, so you don’t feel the benefit later.”

Critics of me Prescott don’t have the experiences like the common touch or eating a pie in a lay-by.

“I will legal the face punching of farmers, communities, empowering. A victim’s chart, locking criminallers outside the top 20. You don’t take your wife to a bun fight, more’s the pity.”

He went on, your majesty. “And hanging’s back if you want some, for meat thieves and poshers”. Anyone who heard of it was clapping. Real clapping democratical, tough on the crimes of the Corrs.

Prescott Police Commissioner

It’s a cold day in Hull if anyone thinks they can do it more gooder. “He’s perfect forrit’ was proved by science using rays. That’s not just him saying it”, worded out a journalisisist who proper checked his sauces, then enabled those words that you’re cordially invented to read at the moment.

“Policer co-Mister Prescott” has a ring of brassy trust in it, agreed them lot clapperingly and whoops, respectful at all times but not soft like a Lancastrian.

“We gave up”, would say the underbellied darkness and streets are safe to lay in once more. Tough older cows is a crime.

And he “would not tolerance the police state”, Prescott assuranced, his rippling torsos solihulled by a batman lamp.

“I’ll batter crime, like what I done to that egger in the old days.”

Lord Prescott was later arrested for impersonating a competent journalist.

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