Wednesday 8 February 2012 by Waylandsmithy

Redknapp’s dog gets five years


Rosie

Harry Redknapp’s dog has described her five year sentence for tax evasion as ‘feeling like I’ve had my nose rubbed in it’.

Reclusive bone-fan Rosie was found guilty of having an undeclared bank account in Monaco, but maintains her innocence.

“I’m not the most financially astute dumb animal”, claimed Rosie. “You could say I have no concept of money. Normally when my owner gives me a cheque for £180,000, I tear it to pieces or bury it in the garden.

“I have no idea how this one slipped through my paws and ended up in a tax-efficient savings account.

“Also, a five stretch is a very harsh sentence if you convert it into dog years.”

Harry Redknapp has distanced himself from his former pet, claiming her behaviour is a bad influence on him.

“First she craps in my slippers, then she tries to defraud Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs officers”, declared Redknapp. “I’ve a good mind to sell her to Wigan”.

Passing sentence on the greedy bitch, Justice Timmins said he had no choice but to lock her up, in case she tried appealing to the upper chamber with her big, brown eyes.

“Bad doggy”, declared Timmins. “Baaad, baaad doggy.”

Rosie asked for two other cases of rolling in fox shit to be taken into consideration.

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