Tuesday 7 February 2012 by Spacey

Replace old morons with young hungry morons, England fans tell Capello


Fans of England’s national football team have urged Fabio Capello to ditch the older, experienced idiots in the squad and replace them with a new breed of young, hungry and fearless idiots capable of bringing shame to the country for years to come.

With the ‘golden generation’ of footballing morons reaching the end of their international careers, fans have called upon Capello to use the Euro 2012 Championships to herald a new dawn of contemptible arseholes.

“The current crop of dickheads have never really reached the heights that were expected of them,” said 32 year-old England supporter Gavin Carter.

“We should start using some of our young bellends now, so when the new manager takes over he’ll have a young group of tosspots who’ve already got experience of a major tournament under their stupid wanker hats.”

England morons

Capello, who has criticised the FA’s decision to strip influential fuckwit John Terry of the captaincy, is likely to stick with the usual collection of gits that have served to let the country down in previous tournaments.

Despite Capello’s anger at the decision, a survey has highlighted that more than three-quarters of fans back the FA, with Steven Gerrard the firm favourite to become the new captain twat.

Professor of idiocy Dr Lionel Davies of Staffordshire University, who carried out the survey, revealed that England fans have lost faith in the current squad.

“The survey highlights that fans feel that the majority of England players no longer have the required level of gittishness to drag the country down.”

“There is an overwhelming sense that Capello should blood some of the youngsters and take the national team to the next level of total disgust.”

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