Tuesday 7 February 2012 by Spacey

Queen commemorates over 60 years on benefits


The Queen

The Queen has visited a town hall in King’s Lynn and the nearby Dersingham Infant and Nursery School as part of her celebrations to mark 60 years of receiving an enormous amount of money at the taxpayer’s expense.

The Queen, who has been the head of the UK’s most prolific family of benefit claimants since 1952, said she felt “deeply moved” by the amount of cash she has received over the years without even having to queue up and sign for it.

The main celebrations for her anniversary will be in June when it is expected that she will cost the UK economy a further £5bn as a result of additional bank holidays.

Prime Minister David Cameron praised the Queen’s “magnificent service to waving and riding side-saddle” and called her a “source of knighthoods and nice parties”.

Among the crowds waiting for the Queen in King’s Lynn was Colleen Jenkins, who travelled from London to show her appreciation for the Queen’s unflinching dedication to living a life of unbridled luxury.

“I love the monarchy,” she gushed.

“There’s nothing more representative of what it means to be British than standing alongside a bunch of people who place massive importance upon a hugely out of touch institution that serves little purpose other than to remind us how insignificant we are.”

A set of six first class stamps, featuring portraits of the Queen enjoying varying degrees of opulence on our behalf, are also being issued to mark the monarch’s milestone.

Among the events to mark the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee will be a flotilla of a thousand boats along the Thames and a chain of beacons being lit across the country, as well other members of the Royal Family visiting the 15 other countries where the Queen is head of state.

A government spokesperson said, “We felt the best way to honour what the Queen represents would be to piss vast sums of money up the wall while millions of people go without”.

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