Friday 3 February 2012 by Warren Devine

John Terry stripped of Captain Shagger title by FA


John Terry has been stripped of his Captain Shagger title by the FA after a series of poor performances in nightclubs across the country.

FA spokesman Dominic Harland said, “Recently we’ve seen Terry pictured in the papers a lot more with his wife and children, and a lot less with glamour models”.

“Allegations of torrid affairs with team-mates’ ex-partners have really dried up. We need to send out a message.”

Some fans supported the move, saying that it was time for the armband to be passed on. Mark Woodgate from Hemel Hempstead said, “There are a lot of young shaggers coming through the ranks and it’s time to give them a turn”.

“They can shag in positions that Terry just can’t manage now his knees are a bit crocked. His best shagging days are over.”

Other fans opposed the decision. Chelsea supporter Charlie Duncan said, “He’s lost the Captain Shagger armband once before, but he’ll be back. He’s a legend – he’ll shag anything that moves. And a lot of things that don’t.”

England manager Fabio Capello has said that he still intends to select Terry for his starting line-up at Euro 2012. “At least I know that’s 90 minutes when he’s not trying to shag my wife.”

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