Wednesday 1 February 2012

Bebo collapse to force sexual predators back into playgrounds


Playgrounds across the country are reporting a large rise in nonce appearances after the collapse of once popular social network Bebo forced sexual deviants to look elsewhere for children to groom.

With rumours still abound that the Bebo collapse may be temporary, perverts have insisted that any resurrection needs to be quick because those swings are starting to look very promising indeed.

Registered sex offender Travis Millwood told us, “This is a very sad day for those of us with a niche interest in pretending to be a young girl whilst trying to talk another young girl into meeting us in a secluded area.”

“Some of my happiest memories in the last few years are based around that website. Sure, it’s also where I got caught by the police and incarcerated for a couple of years, but I tend to remember the good times.”

Bebo closed

Not all perverts are so forgiving of the one-time popular social network favoured by young children.

One angry paedophile told us, “Bebo say they’re coming back, then they say they’re gone for good – now, I’m a patient man generally, but I’ve got some thirteen year-olds to groom and I’m on a clock here.”

“So they either pull their fingers out or I’ll be straight onto Google maps looking for my nearest playground.”

Another said, “Look, this is no tragedy because Bebo has been far too mainstream since 2008 anyway.”

“Do you know how many times I’ve wasted a couple of weeks grooming someone who turned out to be another nonce?”

“On the brightside, I did get to meet Gary Glitter.”

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