Tuesday 31 January 2012

Testicular electrodes should replace the pill, conclude women


After research showed that a dose of ultrasound can stop the production of sperm in human testicles, women everywhere claimed this was now the perfect replacement for the tiresome pill.

Researchers found that a quick dose of ultrasound to the gonads left men effectively sterile, proving that the process is both effective, and extremely enjoyable for women everywhere.

Regular period receiver Sharon Williams said, “Not only is it functionally the same as the pill, in that it prevents unwanted pregnancy, it also potentially allows us to legitimately attach electrodes to our partner’s testicles.”

“I genuinely believe this is the greatest advancement in medicine since the invention of knives.”

“So, do you have any idea how long it’ll be until we have a home-use kit?”

Male contraceptive

Men have reacted with surprise at the news, insisting that there must be a better way of preventing pregnancy than attaching anything with a mains power source to their testicles.

Dave Williams whose girlfriend is intent on coming off the pill told us, “I’m not sure which is worse, running the risk being tied into a loveless relationship for eighteen years, or spending a few minutes with a cackling harridan sticking electrical stuff to my plums.”

“Can I have a few minutes to think about it?”

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