Saturday 21 January 2012 by Spacey

Wayne Rooney becomes only person capable of saying ‘Arsenal could still win the title’ while keeping a straight face


Manchester United forward Wayne Rooney has managed what many thought was impossible after he said that ‘Arsenal could still win the title’ without laughing.

The remarkable display of self control was followed by an exhibition of straight-face showboating as he went on to insist that England have a “chance” of winning Euro 2012 – all without even the slightest hint of a smile.

With Arsenal currently 15 points behind leaders Manchester City with 17 games remaining, it was believed that keeping a straight face while not ruling Arsenal out of the title race was impossible.

A previous attempt nearly ended in tragedy when Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp had to undergo heart surgery after he got as far as “Arsenal could still” before collapsing with a big grin on his face.

“I certainly wouldn’t write Arsenal off, they’re capable of going on a big run,” Rooney told a clearly amused interviewer.

Rooney interview

The interview had to be temporarily stopped after he went on to say “You can’t write them or Chelsea off”, causing the interviewer to fall off his chair into a puddle of his own urine.

The interview was stopped altogether several minutes later to allow the cameraman to receive the Heimlich Maneuver following claims by Rooney that Liverpool striker Andy Carroll will “score goals”.

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