Thursday 5 January 2012

Sweden recognises new ‘magic man in the sky who sometimes grants wishes’ religion


Sweden recognises religion

A church whose central tenet is the belief in a man in the sky who watches everything you do and something grants you wishes, has been formally recognised by the Swedish Government.

The church of ‘Christianity’ claims that ‘praying’ – telepathic one-way communication with their invisible magic man leader – will bring about a better world for everyone.

A spokesperson for the church told reporters, “Just because our belief system has more gaping holes than a Katie Price modelling portfolio doesn’t mean we aren’t a legitimate religious organisation.”

“We’ve got some great costumes, and there’s singing and stuff, so why not come down and have a look?”

“And anyway we were happy to substitute foodstuffs for the drinking blood and eating flesh part of our ceremonies – that was the only sticking point with the government in the end.”

Sweden recognises ‘Christians’

A spokesperson for the Swedish government said, “People will look at this news and criticise us for officially recognising such patently ridiculous beliefs as a formal ‘religion’, but we believe in the personal freedoms that allow you to believe absolutely any nonsense you want to.”

“We don’t care if your personal belief is in file sharing, the flying spaghetti monster, or a two-thousand year old magic zombie, it’s entirely up to you.”

The new religion, which had to apply three times and holds a medieval torture device as its sacred symbol, claims that it is pleased with the formal recognition afforded it by the Swedish government.

The spokesperson continued, “Being recognised by Sweden is a huge step for all of Christianity, and now that we’re officially recognised I think it’s about time we told you what we think of the gays.”

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