Friday 30 December 2011

New lunatic exactly same as old lunatic, confirms North Korea


North Korean officials have moved to quell international concern by confirming that new leader Kim Jong-Un is exactly as a bat-shit crazy as his predecessor.

The were initially concerns that the new leader might prove to be an unknown quantity, but these have been quickly addressed by North Korean officials.

The message came in a statement carried on state media and attributed to the National Defence Commission, whose role is maintain a consistent international perception for all North Korean leaders.

“We declare solemnly and confidently that the foolish politicians around the world, including the puppet group in South Korea, should be aware that Kim Jong Un is exactly as mentally unstable as those who have gone before him.” it said.

“He is already controlling the weather with his moods, and only this morning scored 12 holes in one at Pyongyang golf course. Some of us also saw him fly. Definitely.”

Kim Jong Un

Experts on the region claim that Kim Jong Un will soon start to exert his own authority by creating a mythology around himself.

As one explained, “I would expect the coming weeks to see stories about how he can talk to animals, or about how he invented Simon Cowell – outrageous stuff like that.”

“But he’s not a simpleton though, he’s unlikely to stand up in front of the country and claim that severe austerity measures are the way to get the country growing again. No-one would believe that shit.”

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