Friday 23 December 2011 by Spacey

UK’s most desirable place is still a shithole, finds study


After an annual study by the Halifax bank revealed that the Hampshire district of Hart is the UK’s most desirable place to live, concerns have started to grow that the entire country must be one big shithole.

The study analysed a number of factors to determine the results such as levels of crime and the number of people suffering from the sort of illnesses usually associated with people who live in northern England, Scotland or Wales

“We looked at the number of people who had been admitted to hospital suffering from conditions such as liver disease or heart attacks, and the vast majority of those turned out to be just northerners passing through,” revealed Halifax economist Martin Ellis.

No northern towns featured amongst the top 50 most desirable places, but Mr Ellis revealed that a separate study had revealed the most desirable area inhabited predominantly by northerners.

“Yeah, it’s Benidorm,” he said.

Despite the accolade, some residents of Hart have insisted that it’s no less of a shithole than anywhere else.

“It’s like one of those public toilets that you have to pay to get into,” revealed one resident.

“Because you have to pay to get in you think it’s going to be nicer, but once you get inside you realise it’s just another toilet.”

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