Monday 19 December 2011 by Spacey

TVs controlled by hand movement could prove frustrating for viewers of adult channels, warn critics


Gesture controlled televisions that will allow users to flick through channels and adjust the volume using only their hand could prove to be a frustrating experience for viewers of adult movie channels, critics warned today.

The rapid hand movements associated with subscribers to televised filth could lead to a number of potentially perilous situations according to experts in this emerging technology area.

“Having a TV that is controlled solely by the movement of the hand could be a disaster for men,” said technology expert Nick Roddy.

“A few flicks of the wrist and that crafty wank after the wife has gone to bed could end up with the entire street being awoken by two lesbians in surround sound making more noise than a low flying jumbo jet.” he warned.

Motion detection TVs

With the possibility of the new TVs going on sale as early as 2012, Mr Roddy was eager to highlight that the problems wouldn’t just finish there.

“The ability to change channels simply by moving your hand sounds pretty good in theory, but not for fans of skin flicks,” he said.

“You could start off watching some red hot filth, but by the time you come to pop your wad you’re watching re-runs of Dad’s Army.”

“The emotional scars attached to ejaculating at Clive Dunn are deep, very, very deep.”

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