Wednesday 14 December 2011 by @JohnnyBeelzebeb

Christians celebrate as Canadian penguins renounce Satan


Christians the world over are rejoicing after the infamous gay penguins of Toronto Zoo have publicly rejected the homosexual ways of the devil to come over to the heterosexual side of God.

Buddy and Pedro had been living their lives in sin and seemed destined for an eternal stay in the fiery pits of hell as a result of their ‘unnatural union’.

However, it now appears that the pair have seen the error of their ways in a transformation that many fans of penis-vagina interactions are calling ‘a miracle’.

Scary Christian Sarah Roberts announced, “I’m delighted, obviously, and it looks to me like they’ve been cured by the power of prayer!”

“Though I’m sure all these years of relentless public persecution might have also helped.”

Gay penguin goes straight

Mrs Roberts continued, “Now that they’re no longer committing any crime, perhaps they could be released?”

Authorities announced that this Sunday’s stoning of the birds of Sodom has been postponed indefinitely.

Zookeepers have asked the media to respect privacy of Buddy and Pedro at this time.

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