Thursday 8 December 2011 by Spacey

Met Office issues severe George Osborne excuses warning


Meteorologists have warned that the wintry weather expected to hit the UK in the coming months could lead to the blame for the lack of economic growth shifting back to severe weather conditions.

The wintry excuse hit the north of Scotland overnight, with strong windy blame moving south into northern England over the course of the morning.

A heavy outbreak of finger pointing is expected to cause the most disruption and inconvenience to the north of the country, with the Met Office advising people to avoid government statements if at all possible.

BBC meteorologist Susan Powell said a deep area of low intelligence centred around Whitehall will bring “an inevitable downpour of lame excuses and shoulder shrugging that could last well into next year – perhaps even until the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee.”

Osborne Red Alert warning

Ms Powell said that the south would remain largely unaffected for the time being, with the blame being concentrated mainly in and around northerners.

However the meteorologist warned that the Midlands and Wales potentially faced some extreme insults to their intelligence during the next few weeks.

Forecasters also warned that weather conditions could result in high levels of denial that will cause dangerously low levels of visibility.

“Poor visibility may may mean that the report highlighting the risks involved in the NHS reforms will remain completely invisible due to dense Andrew Lansley until it’s too late to do anything about it,” revealed Ms Powell.

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne, said: “Is it winter again?”

“Thank fuck for that.”

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