Wednesday 7 December 2011

Millions of payday loan customers urged to seek maths lesson


The millions of Britons expected to take out payday loans in the next six months have been urged to learn a few basic mathematical principles, or at least buy a bloody calculator.

The R3 insolvency group, which published the findings, bases its claim on interviews with 2,000 people who clearly struggle when they run out of fingers.

A spokesperson for the group said, “Telling someone that the interest works out to be about 4000% per annum genuinely put a smile on most of their faces.”

“Mostly followed this up with a statement along the lines of ‘I’ll be rich’, or ‘This time next year Rodney’.”

“It took quite a while to explain to them that massive interest rates are only a good thing if you’re not the one paying them.”

“Even then it required a demonstation whereby we gave them all a tenner and then came back the following day to take their cars away.”

Payday loans

The payday loan industry has defended its practices, insisting that if they didn’t take money from simpletons, then somebody else definitely would.

Spokesperson for payday loan company Cash4Morons told us, “If a computer screen with four numbers on it is enough to make you part you with a significant amount of cash, then do you really deserve to keep it?”

“Also, look closely at the details on our website – do you see the words ‘registered charity’?”

“No, you don’t, do you.”

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