Thursday 1 December 2011

George Osborne’s growth plans to focus on creating more clips of Fenton the dog


Chancellor George Osborne has announced that economic recovery will rely heavily on more people filming angry dog owners shouting ‘Jesus Christ’ at their pets.

After learning that the owner of the YouTube clip featuring Fenton the dog is now making a significant amount of money from adverts on the site, Osborne claimed it was an even easier way printing money than quantitative easing.

A Whitehall insider told us, “He laughed at the distraught dog owner, much like everyone else, but his interest was piqued when someone pointed out that YouTube were now paying the owner of the clip for the millions of views it generated.”

“Especially when someone said that making something like this official government economic policy could also technically be classified as him supporting ‘the arts’.”

Fenton paid

A formal policy statement is expected within days, and coalition think-tanks are currently formulating strategies to maximise returns from frustrated citizens caught on camera.

A source close to the Chancellor told us, “The plans are developing nicely, and we’re confident this could be a real vote-winner.”

“If we could just get the unemployed to film things with their phones, and then ask all the people with jobs to watch them on YouTube, we could probably do away with benefits altogether.”

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