Wednesday 23 November 2011

Facebook study shows entire user base just one degree of separation from a moron


Facebook degrees of separation

A new survey of social network Facebook has shown that you are never more than one degree of separation away from a total moron.

The study, which was carried out in May, showed that each of the 500 million Facebook users was connected to at least one imbecile by direct friendship.

Lead researcher Trevor Mills told us, “If you’ve ever seen a post about a game that involves farms, cities or jewels – then you have a direct connection to a moron.”

“We looked at things such as spelling, grammar and status update subject matter to define the morons, and we found that everyone is directly connected to at least one of them – sometimes it’s actually dozens of them.”

“For example, if you see a poorly articulated text-speak update about the X Factor, then that is the moron trifecta,” he concluded.

Facebook survey

Social media experts have hailed the findings, claiming that it shows how Facebook has made the Internet inclusive for everyone, even those people most us would agree shouldn’t have been included in the first place.

Two grand a day expert on this sort of thing Simon Williams told us, “What Facebook has done is push morons into the homes of millions of people.”

“In years gone by you would have had to visit the market square to witness the insane mutterings of your village’s simpleton, but now you simply have to take a look at the average Facebook news feed.”

Researcher Mills added, “We’re now looking to extend our research to show that every user is connected to at least one deceptively hot chick and someone who shares waaaay too many photos of their kids.”

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