Tuesday 22 November 2011 by Spacey

Democracy can still leave you with a government no-one voted for, UK electorate warn Egyptians


Egyptians protesting against military rule have begun wondering whether democracy is all it’s cracked up to be after UK voters highlighted that it can still leave you with a government that absolutely no-one voted for.

The current UK government consists of a party that is unable to command a clear majority being propped up by a party that is unable to command a clear conscience.

Disillusioned UK voters have expressed their sympathy for the plight of the Egyptian people, but insisted that a move to democracy in its current form could leave them bitterly disappointed.

“The only difference between what they currently have and what we’ve got is that we have the distraction of a singing competition and the sight of celebrities willing to eat a kangaroo’s penis in the hope that it might resurrect their flagging career,” revealed one despondent member of the electorate.

Egyptian protests

Egypt’s military rulers have revealed that they will attempt to speed the transition to a UK-style democracy by continuing to ignore the public’s opinion and flooding the population’s TV screens with the John Lewis Christmas advert on a continual loop.

“We are confident that we will be able to continue military rule indefinitely by appeasing our citizens with the sight of a small child taking more pleasure from giving a Christmas gift than receiving one,” revealed a spokesperson for the Supreme Council of the Armed Forces.

Egyptian activists have called for mass demonstrations in response to the military’s plans to delay the presidential election until late 2012 or early 2013.

“We demand the removal of Field Marshal Mohamed Tantawi,” blasted one angry protester.

“One repressive rule has been replaced by another. We will not stop until Egypt is free from….hang on, he’s taking a present to his……Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh, that’s lovely.”

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