Friday 18 November 2011 by Formelia Alberthine

Vatican to sue over image of top priest kissing a grown adult


The Vatican is to take legal action against clothing giants Benetton after their latest advertising campaign used an image depicting a member of the clergy in a sexually charged clinch with a willing adult participant.

The move comes despite an announcement by the Italian clothing company that it had pulled the advert after an unintentional oversight showed a member of the Catholic church engaging in a ‘non-coercive embrace’.

A spokesman for Benetton, Pierre-Luigi Schillaci, conceded, “It’s simply not a believable image, and for that we apologise.”

“For a start the Imam looks like he’s willingly getting it on with the Pope, and if I had to guess I’d say he finished puberty a couple of decades ago, at least.”

“We recognise that the Catholic church has spent decades working hard to build a reputation around its sexual preferences, and if our advert has mistakenly given the impression that they’re suddenly into consenting adults, then for that we are eternally sorry.”

Pope in Benetton ad

A Vatican official said they were aghast at the potential damage the misrepresentation could cause.

“It’s outrageous, and we will pursue this to the fullest extent of the law.”

“I mean, Have you ever heard of a clergyman being caught in or out of the sack with a consenting ‘over-age’ male?”

“No, neither have I.”

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