Wednesday 16 November 2011 by Spacey

Unemployment figures show sharp increase in government blaming everyone else


After UK unemployment rose by 129,000 to 2.62 million, figures have shown that the amount of time that the government spend blaming everyone but themselves has also seen a sharp increase.

The Office for National Statistics (ONS) said the governments’s blame rate increased by 8.3% over the last 3 months, the highest level of taking absolutely no responsibility seen since 1996.

With the focus of blame shifting onto the eurozone, the prime minister has called an emergency cabinet meeting to look at other things that they can point the finger at when things go even more tits up.

“We’re hoping that the weather will turn soon and we will have a white blanket of excuses covering the country, but this is just a short term excuse that people have heard before,” revealed Employment Minister Chris Grayling.

Unemployment up again

Grayling continued, “We are hopeful that we can come up with something that will leave us totally blameless.”

“If we can somehow find a link that will allow us to blame the unemployed for unemployment then we would of course be delighted.”

The Unions, however, blamed the government, but were glad that the coalition had finally stopped living in the past and blaming the last Labour government for everything.

“Everyone knows it’s all Thatcher’s fault,” said Paul Kenny, general secretary of the GMB union.

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