Wednesday 16 November 2011

Tesco apologises after salad leaf found in packet of dead bird


Tesco has today launched a full investigation after a packet of dead bird purchased in one of its stores was found to contain some salad leaves.

Paul Streeter from Weare, Somerset, said his girlfriend was sick after the leaf was discovered in a dead chicken they bought at Tesco’s Burnham-on-Sea branch.

He told reporters, “She was pulling out the giblets and there it was, a couple of rocket leaves all wilted and disgusting. She vomited on the spot.”

“I couldn’t believe my eyes, it was horrific. We were seconds away from cooking that dead bird and one of us accidentally eating those leaves.”

“If I buy a packet containing the slowly decomposing flesh of a feathered animal, I don’t expect to find something capable of photosynthesis.”

“How could this possibly happen?”

Dead bird from Tesco

Tesco have said their investigation will look at the entire dead animal manufacturing process in order to discover the source of the leaves.

A spokesperson said, “Right now we can’t rule out a disgruntled employee looking to sabatage our reputation by accidentally trying to make people eat something healthy.”

“We can only apologise again and assure our customers that we sell millions of dead animals every day, and very few of them contain anything that could accidentally contribute to your five a day.”

“But until that investigation is complete we would recommend vigilance, just to be sure you don’t consume something that might be considered suitable for a vegetarian.”

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