Monday 14 November 2011

Francis Maude urges public sector workers to strike only during toilet breaks


Cabinet Office minister Francis Maude has told public sector workers that in order to limit disruption on 30th November they should look to do a mini-strike whilst on one of their regular toilet breaks.

With pension negotiations ongoing, Maude suggested that the token strike action would signify their unhappiness at the proposed changes, at least to everyone within ear-shot of their cubicle.

Maude told reporters, “I have no problem with public sector workers exercising their democratic right to protest, I’d just prefer if they did it whilst they were on the toilet.”

“Nothing would argue their point quite like being out of sight for a few minutes each day.”

“This isn’t the only option of course, maybe they could strike whilst they’re sleeping? That way, they probably could get a full six hours of striking in each night.”

Pension strikes

Public sector workers have expressed their disappointment after the initial excitement of hearing about new round of protests that linked senior tories and going to the toilet.

“I’ll be honest, my mind immediately went for ‘dirty protest’. I’ve no idea why,” said teacher Brian Williams.

“But the thought of Francis Maude covered in Saturday night’s digested Biryani is really quite compelling.”

“Tell you what, we’ll limit our protests to a fifteen minute toilet break, if Mr Maude agrees to stand below the window of the second floor staff bathroom.  Deal?”

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