Tuesday 1 November 2011

Italy counting proceeds from night spent trick or treating other European countries


The Italian government is this morning still counting buckets and buckets of treats secured on a night spent trick or treating other European countries.

Delegations from across Italy visited all European capitals in the hope of securing some much needed financial handouts in return for not showing them a Silvio Berlusconi doing a sexy dance in nothing but a bandana and a thong.

Diplomats across Europe said the program was met with a mixed response.

“Apparently France were unmoved until they threatened to egg everone in Paris, so they ended up chucking a couple of billion in spare change into their bucket.”

“The Germans offered them some battenburg slices before the Italians went apeshit. They settled on a few handfuls of Quality Street.”

“To be honest, Greece didn’t really get into the spirit of the evening, and when Italy knocked on their door they simply threw a bucket of warm piss at them.  It’s a good job some of them like that sort of thing.”

Italy seeking handouts

Experts are predicting that a successful night of trick or treating could see an escalation into stink-bombing and other juvenile atrocities.

An EU spokesperson said, “We should simply never give in to demands for money with menaces.  Whether that menace is a nuclear device, or a banana stuffed into your exhaust pipe.”

“Western civilisations do not negotiate with terrorists, no matter how good their costumes.”

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