Friday 28 October 2011

Apple urges Scotland to learn English


iPhone 4S Siri assistant can't speak Scottish

Apple has responded to Scottish criticism of its iPhone 4S Siri voice-activation service by suggesting that the people of Scotland try and learn English.

The new service, available only on the iPhone 4S, has difficultly picking up the guttural utterances of anyone living further north than Newcastle, causing concern for Scottish consumers.

An Apple spokesperson said, “Siri is an English-speaking service, and we would strongly recommend any Scottish iPhone 4S owners look to take a class or something.”

“There are a few good ‘Learn English’ apps in the App Store too, if they’re interested.”

“Before long they’ll be able to successfully shout at their phone on the bus like all the other iPhone 4S owners in the English speaking world.”

Siri not Scottish

Scottish consumers have reacted angrily to the announcement, explaining that a broad Scottish accent is one of the most easily understood dialects in the West world.

Glasgow resident Simon McKeith said something about culture, history and there might have been the mention of pride in there, too, we think.

Technology analyst Will Matthews said that Apple could do much to mitigate the issues currently being experienced in Scotland simply by having Siri default to answers to the most common Scottish questions.

“You know, something like, Yes of course you can fry that, or The nearest pub is straight ahead.”

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