Friday 21 October 2011 by waylandsmithy

Of course it’s fine to cash-in on the bloated corpse of a baddie, insists everyone


As images of Gaddafi’s dead body flashed across the globe, Britain’s newspapers have received particular praise for the tasteful way they’ve provided blanket coverage of his corpse.

“I’m sometimes a bit queasy when it comes to pictures of mutilated cadavers”, explained newspaper reader Neil Sturgess, “But fortunately, the words ‘butcher’ and ‘zealot’ plastered all over the place reminded me that he was a baddie.”

“In a way, it’s important to show these pictures, it’s not enough to just know that he’s dead.”

Goodies across the country have welcomed the photos of Gaddafi’s swollen, bloodied carcass, and the colour pull-outs are a popular addition to many staffroom notice boards.

“Normally on a Friday someone pops a Dilbert or Garfield cartoon up”, said Sheila Neville, a data analyst in Birmingham.

“But there’s no spare room on there today, this mobile phone image of a recently deceased, elderly bastard is terrific. The bullet holes seem to follow you around the room.”

Gaddafi corpse photos

Patriotic Brits have trawled YouTube for further confirmation that Gaddafi is dead, although some have expressed their disgust.

“I could only find ‘before’ and ‘after’ videos”, fumed interested party Martin Prendergast.

“The actual moment of death is missing completely. And what did they film this on? A Nokia 3310? Come on guys, the new iPhone 4S shoots HD.”

But regime change fans needn’t worry, after the Libyan uprising was officially classified as a ‘good’ conflict, the first to achieve such a rating since World War II.

“Hollywood executives are over the moon, they’ve already approached Lionel Richie for the starring role”, announced historian David Jones. “Though I hear Jackie Stallone is likely to give him a run for his money.”

“It’s just lovely to be able to add a positive story to our recent history books, and Muammar’s cold, dead eyes are perfect for the dust sheet. I’m hoping for a repeat of the Diana Effect.”

Amnesty International have condemned the so-called ‘execution without trial’, but news editors disagree.

“If we’ve learned one thing from the Jo Yeates case, it’s that it’s a difficult calculation to decide whether the salacious details can sell enough extra copies to cover the fines for sub judice or libel”, explained a spokesman for The Express.

“But when you’re reporting on the death of a murderous dictator, every exit wound is a money shot.”

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