Thursday 20 October 2011

Proud parents slipping in references to ‘bailiff son’ at every opportunity


After seeing their bailiff son on multiple television channels performing his duties at Dale Farm, Essex couple Simon and Dierdre Matthews are said to be bursting with pride at his career achievements.

Friends of the family said the couple are today compiling a scrapbook of news coverage at Dale Farm which they plan to show visitors to their home over the coming years.

Mrs Matthews told us, “As a parent you only want your children to be healthy and happy, but when they go on to achieve what our Terry has done today it just swells your heart with pride.”

“To be honest, we didn’t have high hopes when he left school with one GCSE and a soon-to-expire ASBO, but he’s an example to kids everywhere in showing what you can accomplish if you can just find a job that you truly love.”

“The look on his face whilst he’s dragging a television from the arms of a screaming woman just brings a tear to my eye. We’ve been blessed, truly.”

“Margaret from number 17 is always going on about her doctor son and the lives he’s saved – well I’d love to be a fly on the wall when she sees my baby on Sky News tonight.”

Dale Farm bailiffs

Neighbours of the couple have insisted that the repeated references to their ‘bailiff son from the television’ are becoming tiresome.

Sheila at number 48 told us, “They just don’t shut up about him. Only this morning she managed to link the fact that I’m waiting for a new washing machine to how her son kicks people out of their homes for a living.”

“Apparently their youngest son is training to be a wheel-clamper, so if he passes the fifteen-second interview I’m sure she’ll become insufferable.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: