Wednesday 19 October 2011 by Spacey

Accused female Russian spy seemed so believable, claim MP’s genitals


The genitals of Portsmouth South’s Liberal Democrat MP Mike Hancock have insisted that they had no reason to believe that Katia Zatuliveter did anything but act honourably when she worked on them.

The MP, who resembles someone you’d try and avoid eye contact with if they got on your bus, had an an affair with Miss Zatuliveter over a four year period while he was part of the defence select committee.

Despite Mr Hancock’s brain having no comment, his genitals have been hard to suppress.

Speaking from Mr Hancock’s underpants, they insisted, “Any suggestion Katia was manipulating us in order to gain access to secret information is ridiculous and unfounded.”

“Okay, Mike is 65 and she is 26, but we don’t feel any different to the way we did 40 years ago – I mean emotionally, not to the touch.”

Russian spy

Colleagues of Mr Hancock have revealed how passionately Mr Hancock’s genitals feel about Miss Zatuliveter’s innocence.

“They’re are adamant that there was nothing dodgy going on and they get very animated if you even so much as mention Katia Zatuliveter,” revealed Mid Dorset and North Poole MP Annette Brookes.

“To say that Mike’s genitals are always in our faces wouldn’t be an understatement.”

“Well, when I say ‘our’ I mean any woman within a 25 yard radius.”

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