Monday 17 October 2011

Prime Minister’s Questions to be decided by retweets


After tweeting from the chamber was approved last week, it has been announced that the speaker will select members at Prime Minister’s questions based on the number of retweets they get.

The new system will see an end to submissions via the Order Paper, and the vain hope of being recognised by the speaker during the session.

One parliamentary source told us, “The plan is that it will hopefully stop MPs asking those tedious questions about stuff happening in their local constituency that no-one else gives a rat’s toss about.”

“If the honourable member from Dagenham really wants to know what the prime minister thinks of the fund raising activities of the schools in his district, then fine, but he’ll have to hound him on his own time to find out.”

“The rest of us can retweet the questions we like, such as ‘What’s your favourite dinosaur?’ and ‘Who do you think will win the league this year?’ – You know, the stuff the Twitter-using public is actually interested in.”

MPs to use Twitter in chamber

It is hoped the adoption of such technology will make the modern MP more accessible, though some have insisted that a quick perusal of your Twitter timeline shows that this will never, ever work.

One such critic told us, “I’m all for seeing democracy in action, but you have you actually looked at the stuff that people choose to retweet?”

“I guarantee that before the year is out we will see this nation’s leader asked to respond to the statement ‘Oh my God Justin Bieber is so amazing and gorgeous, isn’t he?”

“And we’ll have no-one to blame but ourselves.”

I’m tweeting the shit out of this

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