Monday 10 October 2011

But without the promise of favours we’d have no friends at all, claim Tories


Defence Secretary Liam Fox has defended his relationship with Adam Werritty by insisting that without the ability to exert power and influence, most Tories would be entirely friendless.

Fox is under pressure after using his position within the Ministry of Defence to get Mr Werritty to like him, a situation he described as ‘perfectly normal’.

He told reporters, “You know, I overheard Adam talking to some people about defence contracts at a party this one time and I was like, ‘I could totally introduce you to the Sri Lankan president, if you want’.”

“I made him play squash with me a couple of times in return and we’ve been really close friends ever since. He really likes me, honest.”

A Conservative party spokesperson defended Mr Fox, insisting that “the alternative would be for all Tories to rely on their personality traits to make people like them, and frankly that’s something we’re all keen to avoid.”

Liam Fox has a friend

So far Mr Werritty has refused to comment about the accusations that he provided friendship in return for political influence, but has been unable to provide Mr Fox’s birthday or the names of any of his siblings.

However, a business acquaintance of Mr Werritty’s said, “He’s totally friends with Liam Fox, I’ve seen the photos and stuff.”

“In fact, I’ll happily tell you about the dwarf they handcuffed him to on his stag do, but first you’ll have to introduce me to someone in the Saudi government. Okay?”

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