Friday 7 October 2011

Banks are actually pretty shady, admits Moody’s


US ratings agency Moody’s has downgraded the credit rating of 12 UK financial firms after finally realising just what sort of shady operations they’re running over here.

With lower credit ratings actually reflecting the businesses themselves, rather than the pockets of the nation that would inevitably bail them out, there are concerns for the knock-on effect to the wider economy.

Consumer Mike Williams asked us, “Is there any possible way this downgrading can be used as an excuse to increase the interest rate on my credit card? Because if there is, then that’s what they’ll do, I guarantee it.”

“To be honest, I wish these credit ratings figures meant a little more to people like me.  I mean, to be clear, they are now saying that the UK banks are shysters, right?”

Banks downgraded

The banks have responded to the news announcing that Moody’s rating as a ratings agency had been downgraded from ‘nonsense’ to ‘gibberish’.

A spokesman for the British Bankers Association said, “What do Moody’s know anyway. Moody even means ‘dodgy’ in the part of London my man servant comes from, what more proof do you need?”

“And remember, this is the organisation who gave Lehman Brothers a Triple A rating just before it went bust, so actually you could argue that our reduced rating means we’re even more trustworthy than before.”

“Actually yes, I think we’ll use that in our next advert.”

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