Wednesday 5 October 2011 by Spacey

Pay off your credit cards or I’m sending the boys round, warns Cameron


David Cameron is to tell UK households to pay off their credit and store card debts or he’s ‘sending the boys round’ in his keynote speech to the Conservative Party conference later.

According to pre-released extracts from the speech, he will say that households failing to pay off their debts “should start preparing themselves for a little visit”.

“This is a friendly warning, but I can assure you that Barry and the boys won’t be interested in any sob stories.”

“It’s either pay up or say hello to Mr Stabby,” he is expected to say.

Cameron speech

Householders who are currently struggling with credit card debts as a result of either losing their job or credit card companies increasing the interest rate have urged the prime minister to give them just a bit more time.

“I just need a few more days,” pleaded 32 year old Dan Howarth. “I know this is all my fault and I’m entirely to blame for the debt crisis, but I didn’t realise it was actual money.”

“I’m begging you, please don’t take my 46 inch plasma TV and surround sound system away.”

Conservatives hope that Mr Cameron’s speech will prompt the public to approach their finances in the same way that the coalition are tackling the economic crisis.

“If the public stop spending money and concentrate on paying off their debt that is sure to get the economy booming……oh, no, wait a minute,” said a Downing Street spokesperson.

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