Following calls for a female driver to have her punishment reduced from ten lashes to three points and a fixed penalty fine, male drivers in Saudi Arabia have declared such Western measures as ‘barbaric’.
Naila Alsharif was arrested after a roadside breast-test found her to be three times over the oestrogen limit, but pressure on King Abdullah to end oppression of women in his country resulted in proposals for the more ‘lenient’ punishment.
Naila told reporters that the reforms fail to go far enough, “I only have a hypothetical licence at the moment but even so, I’d prefer to keep it clean. If we ever do win emancipation, I’m worried the points will be transferred to my full licence.”
Many Saudi men insist that that the proposed new punishment is far worse than being whipped.
“Sure, their back will be a swollen bloody mess for at least a few months, but this time next year she’ll have forgotten about it. Probably.” Complained Erum al-Faisal.
“But those points stay on your licence for five years. That’s five years of mental torture and anguish, all for a straight forward minor driving offence – it’s absolutely inhumane.”
“Plus it’s hard enough for women to get insurance as it is without those points, even through Sharia’s Wheels.”
Saudi women drivers
King Abdullah also announced a shake-up in driver education. As his Minister for Injustice explained, “Instead of just punishing women, we should also give the impression we’re taking their concerns seriously, so we’re offering gender awareness courses”.
A series of slides and patronising questions have been proposed by the Minister, to highlight the dangers of being discovered behind the wheel.
“You’ll arrive just as quickly if you let your husband drive, and you stand less chance of being brutally punished. Unless your husband feels like it, of course.”
The Minister has made a video showing graphic images of what can happen if a woman should venture on to the streets.
“Obviously I couldn’t use a real woman, so I dressed up my brother Adel and filmed him driving the wrong way through a bazaar, swerving off the road and rolling down a sand dune.”
“He was very convincing, although he claims that’s because I forgot to put a eye slit in his niqab. He’s always making excuses. Typical woman driver.”