Friday 23 September 2011

Threat of tennis strike worrying absolutely no-one


Professional tennis players threatening to strike have today been reminded that going on strike will make not the slightest bit of difference to anyone, anywhere.

Andy Murray and his fellow athletes have said they need more time off from hitting a ball across a net, and that if they don’t get it, they will stop hitting a ball across a net.

A spokesperson for the ATP World Tour said that introducing breaks could mean the end of tournaments you’ve never seen in places you’ve never heard of.

Sports fan Simon Williams told us, “And end to something I never see and don’t care about? Hmm. Hang on, let me have a quick look in my bag of bothereds.”

“Nope, I checked and it’s completely empty – sorry.”

“Let me tell you what will happen to our way of life if Andy Murray goes on strike. Nothing. Absolutely nothing whatsoever.”

Tennis strike

Some tennis fans have insisted that reduction in the number of tournaments would mean less Andy Murray, and should therefore be considered a ‘tremendous opportunity’.

As one told us, “The only thing better than seeing less Andy Murray on television is seeing no Andy Murray on television.”

“So it’s only a small step, but it’s definitely in the right direction.”

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