Friday 23 September 2011

Scientists unable to accurately predict when satellite-sized bus will arrive


Experts from NASA and the European Space Agency have admitted defeat in their attempts to predict when the satellite-sized number 66 bus to Erdington will arrive at Corporation Street in Birmingham.

All that is known is that it will appear opposite Baggot St some time on Friday evening, UK time.

“This is not an exact science,” said one NASA engineer, “We might have the world’s most expensive tracking equipment trying to predict an arrival time, but it’s simply not possible using today’s technology.”

“Satellite-sized buses are subject to forces we don’t yet fully understand, and until we do, we’ll just have to wait around until it they get here.”

“We can only hope its arrival – whenever that might be – causes as little disruption to life around here as possible.”

Satellite-sized bus

Transport analysts are predicting the threat to life to be as low as 1 in 3,200, insisting that being hit by a satellite-sized bus is extremely rare.

The NASA spokesperson went on, “The unpredictable nature of the arrival is due to the fact that it can be travelling anything from 0 to 30mph, and its route can be impacted by roadworks or crap drivers.”

“These are variables over which we have no control.”

“Right now, the best we can do is offer you a six hour window for its arrival – and suggest you don’t cross the road during that time frame.”

“We’ll get more precise arrival time data the nearer it gets, but you’ll probably be better off just looking to see it at the end of the road.”

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