Monday 19 September 2011

Dale Farm residents present list of laws they’re happy to abide by


Residents at the Dale Farm traveller site have insisted that their lawlessness has been exaggerated by Basildon Council, before listing some of laws they are perfectly happy to comply with.

A spokesperson for the travellers told reporters that there are actually quite a few laws his community abides by, and that this should be enough for everyone trying to get them to move.

“We’ve highlighted the part of the statue book that we’re happy with. And firstly, you have to ignore the sections on tax – I think our relationship with the tax authorities could be described as tenuous at best.”

“And is taking something that doesn’t belong to you really theft? I heard that possession is nine tenths of the law, so when I possess something it becomes mine and I don’t see how that can be illegal.”

“And all this stuff about violence, I’m assuming we can ignore that amongst ourselves, right? We do love a good fight, you see.”

“And ‘planning permission’? We’re not convinced this is really a law anyway.  Reason? Oh, say we don’t agree on religious grounds.”

“But apart from that, yes, we’re as lawful as they come.”

Dale Farm evictions

Mortgage payers around the country are watching the developments closely, insisting that the result of today’s eviction attempt could lead to a change in lifestyle for them and their loved ones.

Berkshire resident Simon Williams told us, “I’m watching Dale Farm, absolutely, and if a complete disregard to planning laws earns them a reprieve then I know just what I’ll be doing next.”

“I’ve got my eye on this nice field next to the Thames by Windsor castle, and if they aren’t evicted I’ll be on the phone to Gloria Hunniford and up there with a caravan before nightfall.”

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