Thursday 15 September 2011

Taking naked pictures of yourself still a great idea, public assures celebrities


The public has today reassured movie star Scarlett Johansson, insisting that taking naked photos of yourself and putting them on your laptop is still an excellent idea for all attractive famous women.

Naked photos of Johansson have appeared all over the Internet, after she took naked photos of herself and decided to keep them on a laptop where anyone could accidentally stumble across them.

Hackers have been blamed for the breach, but a high-profile hacker insisted they only did what anyone else would do, given their unique skill-set.

Skillz69 told us, “Given the choice between finding out the code-names of CIA operatives in Afghanistan, or seeing if Scarlett Johnasson has matching collars and cuffs, well, it’s a no brainer, isn’t it?”

“And yes, she does.”

Scarlett Johansson nude pics

The FBI has been called in to investigate, but has urged celebrities to continue their seemingly perpetual habit of taking nude photos of themselves.

An FBI spokesperson said, “If we told them to stop taking them, then the hackers would win – and if 9/11 taught us anything, it’s that every pretty celebrity has the right to photograph themselves in any way they deem appropriate.”

Part-time laborer Derek Mullwood, 45, said that on the balance of probabilities celebrities should consider themselves safe from attack.

“They shouldn’t be concerned, I have hundreds of photos of myself on my laptop, in all sorts of compromising poses – but no-ones ever tried to hack into my computer to see them.”

“Not even the spread-eagle one on my faux-leatherette sofa.”

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