Thursday 8 September 2011

Desperately unattractive homosexuals to be allowed to give blood


Homosexuals who are so hideously unattractive that they have not been able to have sex for at least 12 months will now be allowed to give blood, according to new proposals.

However those who are still able to get laid whenever they want will not be allowed to give their blood to save the lives of others.

Government officials said the move will allow gays with little to offer their own communities a chance to contribute to wider society.

A health department spokesperson, “We prefer not to think of them as gays who haven’t had sex for a year, but as ‘celibate’. Celibate like you or me.”

Leading gay Maurice Williams asked us, “Does this include all sex? I ask because I got wanked off by Dave the trolley boy in February, does that count?”

Gays to give blood

Straight people who insist they have no problem with gay people but wouldn’t want to have part of one inside them, have been quick to criticise the move.

Bricklayer and married father of three Mike Davies told us, “This is terrible, if there’s anything worst than having the blood of a gay running through my veins, it’s having the blood of one of the really ugly ones.”

“If I had to choose, I’d go for one of those chiselled blond ones, you know the sort, rock hard pecs and well-defined abs, eyes you could go swimming in.”

“Yeah, they could save my life any time.”

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