Tuesday 6 September 2011

We’re not sure about the Forth Bridge colour, say Scottish women


As painting work on the Forth Bridge finally approaches its conclusion, Scottish women have claimed that’s not how they thought it would look when you showed them the colour charts.

After a ten-year programme the painting will be completed in December this year, just in time for the nation’s females to pick a new must-have colour scheme for the new year.

“Red is so last century,” said Edinburgh resident Maggie Colthart, “and it looks much ‘colder’ on the bridge than in the paint pot. Maybe we could just lighten the shade a little?”

“And don’t say this is my fault, if I’d known this is how it was going to look I would never have chosen it!”

Forth Bridge colour ‘not quite right’

Network Rail who manage the bridge said, “It’s bloody typical, they always do this. They’ll swear blind it’s the colour they want, but as soon as it’s done they want something else.”

“It’s not such an issue when you’re perpetually painting the thing, but this is actually ‘it’ – we’ve completely finished it now. If they wanted to change the colour they should have told us in 1971.”

“120 years we’ve been on this job and just as we’re about to call it a day they change their minds? I’m not buying it.”

“Sod it, if they want to change it they can bloody well paint it themselves.”

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