Thursday 1 September 2011

Stoke City to introduce on-pitch midfield viewing gallery


Following the signing of Peter Crouch, Stoke officials have announced plans to sell tickets for the middle of the pitch where fans will be able to watch the action taking place above their heads.

The move to pair 6’7″ Peter Crouch with target man Kenwyne Jones has rendered the middle section of the Stoke pitch the most valuable seating real-estate in the premier league.

A club spokesperson said, “We’re the first team to turn football into a truly immersive viewing experience, we’re the thought leaders in this area.”

“Sure, Sky will try and tell you that 3D is where it’s at right now, but what could be better than watching our keeper Begovic fire the ball directly over your head towards Kenwyne Jones and Peter Crouch?”

“It’ll be like you are a midfielder back in the days when Stoke actually used them.”

Stoke sign Crouch

Fans have already said they are eager to take their place on the Britannia stadium pitch, claiming they are excited at the possibility of sitting next to Wilson Palacios in centre-midfield.

Season ticket holder Simon Nutt told us, “I’ve always dreamed of being a Stoke player, and now I’ll get the genuine Stoke midfielder experience right from my own seat – it’s amazing.”

“Plus, if the weather gets bad during the winter, we can use to untouched midfield turf to repair the goal-mouths.”

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