Friday 19 August 2011

Celebrity Big Brother staff to draw straws for who will try to evict gypsy Paddy Doherty


Big Brothers insiders are secretly hoping that traveller Paddy Doherty goes on to win the show after admitting that now he has taken residence they have no chance of actually evicting him.

The new series of the celebrity reality show started last night with the usual mix of people who want to be famous, used to be famous, or are married or divorced from somebody famous.

However programme makers have admitted that they might have made a small error in inviting a star of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

“We really didn’t think this through, did we?” said one of the producers.

“He did seem awfully keen when we said he could live in this house we’d built for him, and that it comfortably housed a dozen people.”

“He didn’t want to know about his fee, he just wanted to know was who owned the land it was built on.”

“Not only was he a champion bare-knuckle boxer, he now thinks he owns the house.  Yeah, I won’t be the one trying to evict him.”

Celebrity Big Brother

Meanwhile viewers have been left aghast at the usual mix of nobodies and simpletons lined up to provide a summer of ‘entertainment’.

32 year-old Jane Fellows told us, “There’s definitely potential for an onscreen mental breakdown in there, we just have to make sure can spot it amongst their normal behaviour.”

“Personally I’m hoping one of the tasks involves removing half of Jedward in the middle of the night and trying to convince the other half that there’s only ever been one of them, and that they’ve imagined there being two of them.”

“I’m guessing it won’t be hard.”

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