Monday 15 August 2011 by Spacey

End of world predictions looking more plausible as Michele Bachmann wins Iowa straw poll


Predictions that the end of the world is nigh are becoming increasingly credible after Tea Party maniac, Michele Bachmann became the early front-runner to become the Republican presidential nominee following her victory in the Iowa straw poll.

The belief that the world is coming to an end has gained popularity in recent years, and with the inevitability that the White House will once again be occupied by someone who is guided by an omnipresent cloud of bearded hate gas, some feel the end could be drawing ever closer.

“When the person in charge genuinely believes that the law of God – as written in the Bible – should exclusively govern society, then you have to question their ability to act rationally,” said one Armageddon enthusiast.

“I’m not a big believer in miracles, but the fact that the world hasn’t already ended is the best example of one that I can think of.”

Bachmann lunatic

Popular dinosaur-denier, Sarah Palin, is yet to announce whether she will run as a candidate, but with Bachmann, Mitt Romney and Rick Parry in contention there is already sufficient lunacy available to satisfy the expectations of the majority of right-wing religious nutjobs.

Parry, who threw is hat into the ring at a recent Jurassic Park book burning rally, has a background that could prove to make him a popular choice as one of his campaign team explained.

“Rick was adopted by the US Ambassador to Great Britain, but his childhood was plagued with tragedy as a number of mysterious deaths and a large rottweiler followed him…….oh no, wait, that’s the plot to The Omen.”

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