Friday 12 August 2011 by Gary Stanton

Arsenal ‘crisis’ deepens after Gunnersaurus mascot spotted in Barcelona Tapas bar


Gunnersaurus spotted in Barcelona

Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger, is said to be ‘livid’ after the club’s want-away mascot Gunnersaurus Rex was spotted munching Tapas with senior Barcelona executives earlier this week.

In addition to Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri, Wenger could lose his talismanic mascot – real name Dave Hill – who, in recent years, has provided the backbone of the squad in terms of pretend dinosaur-based entertainment.

According to sources, Hill ordered a starter of stuffed olives, followed by meat balls and washed the whole lot down with a generous helping of Sol lager, all while dressed as a dinosaur.

‘Gunny’, as he is known to fans, has become increasingly disillusioned with life at the Emirates after his demands for a leisurely afternoon siesta were turned down.

The move is back on the table after previous talks with the Catalan outfit broke down when it emerged that negotiators couldn’t understand the dinosaur’s muffled demands, despite one of them placing his head directly in its cavernous mouth.

Earlier this morning Wenger played down rumours of a move, describing Gunnersaurus as “very ‘appy” or, at least as “‘appy as anyone who has been the subject of malicious gossip instigated by members of the youth squad can be.”

Yesterday Wenger played his ace card announcing that Tapas chain La Tasca would be opening up a branch at the Emirates and pre-match entertainment would henceforth feature ritualised scenes of donkey murder.

However last night Manuel Fargo, a spokesman for Barcelona, confirmed there had been contact.

“He will have a medical, which involves him running up and down the touchline in forty degree heat taking no end of shit from the under-fives in the crowd.

“If he comes through that then it’s game on.”

Despite this latest setback, Wenger last night reiterated his faith in his Arsenal philosophy.

“My plan is to continue to develop Arsenal and make them one of the main forces in the world, with or without the services of a manchego-loving sex offender in a dinosaur costume.”

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